20 September 2015

Greetings to any new addressees to this email travel log.  This is number nine in the series and the first to come from SE Asia.  I had intended completing this piece while travelling but that didn’t happen so here it is, a little late.

Aircraft Travel:

• After spending lots of time in airports especially in queues and suffering the interruptions caused by other people I have concluded airport design needs to be re-thought.  There are great similarities between airports and farms and my thinking is based on the Australian sheep farm or maybe a train shunting yard. What I envisage is each passenger wearing a bar code, similar to the ear tag worn by cattle.  As you move through the airport the bar code would be scanned and barriers and gates would open and close, rise and fall, quietly directing you to your departure gate without you (the sheep) having to read a sign.  This would be efficient and would reinforce the whole airport experience of processing fresh meat.
• My second design concept is moving walkways as you approach the immigration and security gates.  The moving walkway would avoid the frustration caused by people not moving according to my expectations and allowing large gaps to develop between them and the next group.  Everyone would move forward and be processed at the right speed.
• During the flight I have discovered that dark energy and dark noise exist within the plane fuselage.  These dark forces, like the universe make up 90% of your experience on the plane but they have never been truly identified or measured.
• At takeoff dark noise might sound like a small person screaming ‘I want a window seat, I want a window seat, I want a window seat.’  During descent and landing dark noise is like a lot of screaming similar to the noise left over after the Big Bang.
• Dark energy is again unseen but is more focussed.  Typically it comes in the form of sudden flexing and pressure in the lower part of your backrest.  It’s not dissimilar to a small person kicking the back of your seat.  I use that example purely for illustration purposes, no child under the supervision of their parent would ever do that – it’s dark energy.  Dark energy also causes the seat in front of you to come crashing down just as you are eating your meal.  These are very dark forces and yet to be adequately explained.
• Dark energy and dark noise have mass and are affected by the velocity of the aircraft   How do I know this you ask? I realised these two forces are only found at the rear of the aircraft.  In the front of the fuselage they are only in small amounts and hardly noticeable.

Vietnam and Cambodia.

Traffic:

• Did you know there are five sides of the road on which to drive?
  • Drive a right hand drive vehicle on the left side of the road (Australia)
  • Drive a left hand drive vehicle on the right side of the road (USA)
  • Drive a right hand drive vehicle on the right side of the road (UK vehicle in Europe)
  • Drive a left hand drive vehicle on the left side of the road (European car in the UK)
  • Its discretionary; anywhere you like (Vietnam and Cambodia)
• The best way to describe traffic in Vietnam and Cambodia is to compare it to blood flow or fluid dynamics.  Motor bikes are like red blood cells carrying the oxygen and nutrition (people and goods) the city needs to operate.  The motor bikes flow down arteries and veins in a fluid motion, only occasionally slowing at stop signs and flowing around intersections filling the entire space available including both sides of the road and the footpath.
• To cross these roads you have to understand you are part of a flow, nothing will stop for you, it will simply flow around you. This includes the time you are riding a motorbike (as a passenger) and a bus wants to cross the road right where you are.  There is no road rage just thousands of people on motor bikes trying to get to their destinations.  9 million people in Saigon and 6 million motor bikes!

History:

• Helipads from the Australian army base of the Vietnam war era are now soccer fields and the runway at Nui Dat is now a country road.  There is a kindergarten built by Aussie Vietnam veterans.  The field where concerts were performed for the troops is now an open field at a cross road of two minor country roads. What was so important 40 years ago is now quietly reverting into the local landscape.
• History in this part of the world can be very confronting, be it the Vietnam war (known as the American war in Vietnam) or the times of Pol Pot in Cambodia.  And yet regardless of the history and the traumas experienced the people just get on with life and the challenges of living in a developing country.  The past is the past.
• While Pol Pot was not held to account for his crimes there is a view that he will get his in his next life.  It’s all about karma and his next incarnation many believe will be as some low life, maybe a cockroach.  This attitude allows the people of Cambodia to move and not be dragged down by its past.  This is quite different from other cultures that continue to passionately celebrate battles from 300 years ago!

The People:

• When asked about politics in Vietnam the response was we have two systems; the government is communist and the economy capitalist.
• The Cambodians have a wonderful saying: We smile to change the world and don’t let the world change our smile.
• A description by a Cambodian of their neighbours and their attitude to life:
  • Vietnamese they are running
  • Cambodians they are walking
  • People from Laos, they are sleeping
• We visited the largest Buddhist monastery in Cambodia and received a blessing.  At lunch time we were looking into a large pavilion that had a large number of lay monks preparing for lunch.  In the front of the room close to the alter with the Buddha was a lay monk chanting. I think he was chanting something along the lines of whether people  wanted the banquet for lunch or whether they wanted to order off the menu.  The response, in chant, was they wanted the banquet or wanted to order on their own and then there was the one guy who didn’t want chillies. This goes on for some time until they all agree on the banquet.  At this time the bell is rung.  The bell is a brake drum from a truck and it has perfect tone.  The monk rings the bell and has a wink and a wicked smile.  He either knows it’s a truck part he is ringing or he is pleased they have agreed on the banquet.  At that time the monks, in saffron robes walk in procession from the pagoda to the pavilion where lunch is served.  They are very quiet and solemn, clearly wondering what they are getting for lunch today.
• The Cambodians have their own form of Vietnamese boat people – who would have thought!  The Vietnamese came to Cambodia in 1979 and since the Cambodian government won’t give them identity papers they live in floating villages on lagoons just off the Mekong river.
• The flooding season comes every year and people just move themselves and some of their livestock to higher ground.  There is no panic, no 24 hour news reporting, no scenes of sand bagging they just move on and are happy with a new layer of silt in their rice paddies.

Wildlife in Cambodia:

• There is none, it was eaten.  Time were tough under Pol Pot and the Vietnamese so all the wildlife was eaten.  Cambodians will eat anything with four legs except a table and anything that flies except an aircraft. Tarantulas, crickets and cockroaches are all up for consumption.

Tourism

• The wet season is great; the tourists avoid the place.  It is however very hot in the morning and wet for about an hour in the afternoon.
• Narcissism rocks.  All of your photographs must now be of you and all your friend’s photos will be of them.  No longer is it sufficient to photograph a 1000 year old temple.  You must photograph yourself with a 1000 year old temple in the background or maybe you with a stone causeway in the background, or you with an ancient moat in the background.  All pictures must be of you striking a pose similar to the cover of Vogue. I’ll say no more.
• In Vietnam everyone is a millionaire; they must be a round of drinks costs VND240,000 and a massage VND1,320,000.

The Future:

• Cambodia and Vietnam are developing as fast as they can.  Cambodian GDP growth is about 7% pa, up there with China.
• In Saigon they are building an underground rail network.  In years to come the motorbikes will be vastly reduced and maybe you will see pigs on trains.
• New buildings and multi storey office blocks are going up. The people of Saigon are very proud of the European labels that are available in their city; Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Chanel etc.  Of course the tourists come to see the old French colonial architecture and the chaos of a developing country.    In 10 years the place will be very different – go now.

That’s it, I’ve said enough.  As always, if you don’t want these emails just drop me a note and you will be off the list.   For the new readers, previous emails have covered travel to Queensland, New York, England, Scotland and SA.  The next stream of consciousness is likely to occur in four weeks and will align with a family reunion; I’ll say no more.